I don't beleieve this

Here I thought you supported me and understood me. But I was the one misunderstood even more than you.

I thought what we had was stronger than this. I take every word you say as truth.

I think you just speak in general and I in the specific. Do you realize how ambiguous you are or am I just the crazy one?

I feel so miffed, like maybe i've been talking to the walls and not you.

I feel very alone right now. Got me doubting myself.

Fuck that! Fuck that!

It's crazy when everybody knows that thing but you, even worse when they think they know but have no idea.

Gonna get my clarity fuxk that.
Not gonna live like this.

Fuck that fuck that!!

I know my self do you know thy self? You say you know me but I think you do know what you see. I don't know if you've looked inside to the other side.

I've looked in you and it's still dim but I ever quest for the love of you.

If I were musical this would end up a song that millions would make their own meaning to and no one would ever know the incident that prompted it. Not even the vain ones who think this is about them. Scuse grammar.

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Disturbed, yet Gifted Problem Solver

I've become very disturbed by the world we live in. They have taken knowledge and science and went allll awry. They want to increase sperm, bioengineer - which engineer, in and of itself, means it was made by man, so how do you bio-engineer? My world is disturbing. And, I wonder why I see little boys out buying dresses and wigs with their shoulders slumped over. It's a sick sad world. Poisoning of the food and water...gay cartoon babies...it's insanity.

Well I did have a very excellent conversation with my daughter today. We talked about what rules we could rely on about life. And religion and what not.

For me:
1. The Golden Rule, and beyond doing unto others, also wanting for others happiness like u want for self
2. There is a oneness of our universe. Everything is connected, and all connected to God.
3. Submission to God's will,
For her:
1. you can't just spend a bunch of money forever, at some point it will run out
2. there was another one she had...can't remember jjust now.
3. every human has a gift....i liked this because i like to think that--you know how autistic kids have these amazing talents, some slow person might have a gift of love and piety and truth, but what about really low-functioning people, like straight derrrr...but when i thought about it again, i realized what if they have some gifts we dont even know...we cant even comprehend. maybe they have telekenesis, telepathy, anything. so this one for me...i'm still unsure of.

Time to go....

Charles Hamilton is BACK!

My boy is back with new music on deck! I'd been unable to be do much d/l anyway so it worked out. It was just in time for me to say...I been thru all the catalogs, what's left? I admit, I was a little scared he mighta went Amy Winehouse and be a lost forever. The tragic young artist full of so much promise.

So, the new album is Normalcy. Fave songs so far are Suicides, She's Purty, Workin in the Lab is crazy (2nd listen: #3 IS DOOOOOOPE). See&Say is hard. I think I'm gonna be feelin this 20Hamil10 too. A lot of these beats are crazy though. At first I was like ehhh but then I remembered I only be likin 2-3 songs per album usually anyway. The first few songs I wasn't feelin, especially after he said he was going to lose the "lo-fi" thing, which is part of what I like. The only thing I dont like is how different songs be sounding in diff systems, but that's more cuz his beats are so intricate, if your shit aint clear it aint right, but if it ain't got bass it ain't shit.
He ain't rhymin rhymin tho. I'm not crazy about the "to-be" studio album "This Perfect Life".

Download: Charles Hamilton – Normalcy [Mixtape]

My favorite charles hamilton album

Playlist will add l8rr

Crush Kill Destroy STRESS

I'm feeling very stressed and starting to get a little depressive. I almost dont want to use my blog anymore because of this guy who just blew up an IRS building and they used his blog as a suicide note. And reading the so-called suicide note, it doesn't even seem like he was writing a suicide note until the end, which they probably just plugged in...unfortunately his blog was down so you couldn't really read what he'd written up to that point to see if it was a gradual insanity type thing.
The whole thing was just too convenient. Guy with IRS issues and flight experience goes and flies a plane right into an IRS building where only one person other than himself died.
What kills me is they don't call it "terrorism" because he wasn't working within "a cell". I thought terrorism has to do with striking fear into people and using terror to control and rule people. Well, saying he is guilty, and did do this, how is it not terrorism?
But still, I really think this guy didn't do it. He didn't look an ounce crazy. Sad though for his kids.
And yeah, I don't really think Kurt Cobain killed himself either. I never want my writings to be used against me. My ramblings and musings about tomorrow...I've always journaled, in the past in the hopes that a future descendent would find them and know a little about their ancestor. I've been wary of the net for awhile, for anything too personal, but figured what the hell, my descedents may hack the ancient Internet and decode my shit. Maybe paper will be nothing in the future eras. Need to go carve some shit.
Anyway, so yeah, I was just getting a little blue, that kinda blue that starts to try to take over you, actually red, I"ve been more angry. Angry and yelling til my head hurt, angry where a little laugh couldn't just bring me out, just pissy. maybe i'm orange then! haha. i feel a little better, just with that little ramble :) or maybe it was the tea my DD made me. off to bed now.

What's the Deal with Pizza?

Why is it people think pizza is an open invitation to beg? I admit, I'm slightly greedy, particularly when it comes to food. I don't really like sharing my food (with people who are already full or not in need). I'm sorry, this goes against my principles, but it's something I think I'm working on. But, why is it every time I get pizza I got niggas beggin? That shit really bugs me. Kids or adult, I don't like mfkas beggin'. Today I bought pizza for lunch, and I can pretty much knock out half a pizza and my kids would knock out the rest after school. Now, if you didn't put in on my pizza, why you gon have the nerve to ask for some? If I got Chinese food, nobody would be in my plate. If I had subway nobody would ask for half. I guess pizza's slicable, addictive, and in a box, so for some reason people take that as license to beg, oops, ask.

If I had some to spare, I'd offer. But niggas beggin puts me in a predicament. Either of not getting full, or depriving my babies (or students) of theirs. Many times, I've ordered pizza out of pocket for my students and have mfkas coming from everywhere askin for some.

Now the kids annoy me too when they beg, but they kids. What do you want? You can tell them don't beg and hope they dont grow up to be the annoying adults that beg.

I had two kids that didnt have lunch, so I begrudgingly gave them some (I told you I was working on my food greed). Because I knew this was the right thing to do. I didn't want them starving. But, grown folks with money who already ate aint got no right coming acting like "I know you gon save me a piece" or "I know it's a piece in there for me".

A NIGGUH PLEASE!!

just watched thumbsucker. great indie movie.

moral of the story: we're all a little fucked up. and everybody's parents are a little fucked up. one day you'll be a parent and see how fucked up it is to try to not be fucked up, and end up fucking up anyway. but keep trying to not fuck up! while accepting yourself as fucked up!i think...i think

Royal Fags

The caption reads the vigor and strength of the kings stocking covered legs contrast with the age and wisdom of his lined face. LMAO!

Keepin it real curator says :
Peep this niggas whole style. I don't want to hear that shit about tight pants and stockings was just the style back then.
First of all this nigga stance is mean. That pose where a bitch got her back to you but she throws her head around all like come here big daddy. Then his hand is on his hip (which you can't really notice for all his fluff and frills.)
Now move down to his feet. This nigga is wearing pumps with buckles, a red bow, and some damn red ass HEELS! now u tell me he ain't Tryna be sexy!
Move up his legs til u reach his garters, excuse me those are stocking buckles. Maybe if you weren't standing like a Victorias secret model they wouldn't be so gartery.
Travel up that sexy thigh to his naughty little derrierre berely covered by layers of delicate lace.
I think this painting was especially commissioned for a lover. There is a contrast but it's not the lines on his race. It's the sceptre he weilds on the table. Probably wants to be spanked with it.



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